Letting go

Today has been a hard and exciting day. Amelia started her first day of school in a toddler room at a nice daycare in town. Researching schools and applying to one has been a HUGE exercise in letting go.

As I drove away with my 18 month old daughter in the care of other people I just couldn't stop thinking about what we had when we were a part of the JHCCC family. I really think we all could have used some group therapy after losing our jobs with a focus on how to "let go". Little's new school is very nice and the teachers I'm sure will care for her. It's just that the magic that we experienced before is taking a while to shake off of us. No-one said, "how was her night?"; no-one asked, "does she have a favorite song?"; and no-one said, "how are you doing?" with care and concern for this emotional momma. At JH we took the extra mile always. We called moms and dads on first days or first weeks to reassure a parent that their kiddo was doing great. We wanted to hear stories from parents about their child's night, morning, or even car ride to school. I am so very proud of the care that I gave and the care Amelia and I received while we were there.

On Thursday her class is doing "hat day" which is super cute and I'm sure she will love. I laughed a bit to myself when they told me thinking, "would Paulette have allowed us to have hat day because there is always a risk of lice with hats in a toddler room?" I miss having a Paulette and I miss everyone caring so much about every single little detail at school that I felt so...safe. Sure as a teacher having so many rules we most likely complained but looking back, I feel so incredibly lucky.

Lucky that Carolyn cared if the eggs were going to crack, that Paulette cared about hats, that I cared so much about the furniture and toys I would stay for 2 hours after my shift so it was right, that Lynne cared about what noises Amelia made on the train ride over, that T cared about the water table looking amazing, that JRay cared about girls being firefighters, that Stephanie cared about the school being organized, that Linda cared about transitions, that Sarah cared about the kids feelings, that Amanda cared about music, that Erin cared about sign language, that all of Chestnut cared about things like a classroom zoo, that Ellen and Jen cared about classroom connections, that Neddie cared about those books, that N3 cared about laughing and making everything exciting, that Lisa cared about hugs, that Jen cared so much about naps, that Regina and Helen cared about making a small room a home, that Irina cared enough to engage me in conversations about education, that Warti cared if we had play-dough in the color we wanted, that Lorraine cared about singing, that Linda K cared to observe and appreciate everyone, that Stacey cared to make sure we could have the best friendship/working relationship, that Renalyn cared to teach us how to knit, that Bert cared about our troubles and Jason cared about our smiling or not, and lastly that Marcia cared about all of us.

I had a family there. This new adventure just feels like we are acquaintances. I didn't even know the teachers names when I got there. I'm sure over time it will be more of a friendship. I know I just have to let go. I have to let her play with Elmo at school even though she has it at home, I have to let her drink juice from time to time, I have to let her hold onto that stupid plastic rope that they use to walk the kids because you know what...I might be biting my lip about it but my kid loves it. She wanted to be a part of the walking line. She is going to help me on this journey. And I will always be sure to remember what we had.

This is an important time for me. While she is there I can figure out what to do with my career, I can go for a walk, or I can do laundry like I plan on doing next. I will also have more time with Charlie when he arrives this summer. Maybe I will have the opportunity to work with some of those family members again.

Here is Little having a "bana" at the table with her new friends.



Sigh...

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Snowy Day Ideas

Man has this been an incredibly hard winter for us here in New England! Amelia and I have been dealing with being stuck indoors for days with no ability to see any friends. No outdoor time means a toddler who is a bit more cranky and bored as well as a mommy who may just go right out of her mind. :) I have been trying to make the best of it and counting down the days until April 1st (because even March is not reliable). Fifty Seven more days by the way!

1. Bake Bake Bake
I know this girl is mine, she loves to bake. If she sees me taking out the measuring cups, she runs for her apron and says, "Bake!"
I have been finding that during baking I need to put a smaller container with spoons in it for Little otherwise I can forget about the measurements in my bowl because she will throw it all out. The BEST baking activity we have done is frosting because I don't have to worry about her eating any raw eggs. And of course Amelia loves it. Frosting is super easy to make too. We recently made peppermint frosting for Daddy's Birthday cake.

 We just recently discovered that we don't always have to bake food as well. Just yesterday we baked some homemade play-dough. I added glitter to it and made it purple. It was very easy and a bit shocking as to how much salt goes into the recipe. We haven't played with it yet. That is the plan for this afternoons snowy indoor activity.

2. Climb til you can't climb anymore
I know how important it is for a toddlers to move their bodies. We can only have so many dance parties! We needed a change so I started to drag out some giant tupperware containers, boxes, and pillows. I have tried to place these items in all kinds of different ways to challenge her body and add some fun to her day. She now requests them when they are not in the room by saying, "Cimb".

3. Have a tea party!
We read a book called "I know a Rhino" by Charles Fuge. It is super cute and the little girl in the story has tea with the Rhino. Amelia picked up on this and now plays with her tea cups and says "sugar". I decided when we were cooped up to let her practice pouring water and gave her a little tea party at the table. It was a hit!

 4. Ride a bike
This was my mom's idea and although it didn't last long it gave us yet another gross motor challenge. Her tricycle is a bit big for her but she was brave and tried it out. I put a rope on it and pulled her through the house. Then of course we had to see if Minnie would enjoy a ride.

 5. Paint
With this freezing weather I could have a warm tub every day so of course I think Amelia would enjoy one too. But before taking a tub we have to get as messy as can be! We have been doing a lot of painting. I miss having all the colors of the rainbow to choose from at work. We make the best of the few we have and she has created some real masterpieces!

6.Create a new toy
We had a great cardboard tube lying around from Daddy's birthday and I created a new ball/car/toy slide. She has really enjoyed it and will put Buzz and Woody down it saying something that sounds like, "And Zoom" for To Infinity "And Beyond!" Too cute.

7. If the snow lets up...Go Outside!
There have been a few days that we have braved the snow to go sledding. It was especially fun at Grandma's and Grandpa's because they have a large yard and some hills. I think she takes after me. She likes to sled as long as she stays in the sled but playing in the snow is really not her thing.

And if the weather doesn't permit outside play...Bring it Inside!
Although a bit confusing Amelia seemed to enjoy bringing the snow indoors. She liked it best when I told her she could taste it. Maybe we will have to make some snowcones soon.

 Until we can have a little more of this...

 I will settle for this...

As long as we are staying happy. I'm trying to talk Amelia into enrolling into college in Hawaii.
This post is brought to you by the website that taught me how to make play-dough...
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Make-Playdough-Play-doh/

Fear

Yesterday morning I woke up to this news...
Link between siblings close in age and autism
Being pregnant with baby number two who will born before Little turns two, I was intrigued. I'm also an Early Childhood Educator and have great respect for studies that are attempting to find answers about Autism and ways to ensure that we see a decrease in the diagnosis of Autism in years to come. However, all I thought of after reading this is how many parents out there will read this and feel so much fear. Fear about their decisions in having children, fear for their second child, and fear that autism is their fault. It made me think of my own fears that I have battled over the years.
I will never forget when I was fifteen and first diagnosed with Diabetes, talking to my friend Andy. I was touched and a bit distraught to hear him ask with tears in his eyes, "can you have kids?" I knew the source of his asking me this question was...Julia Roberts.


Shelby from Steel Magnolias was a movie I loved and many kids my age had watched and loved. Shelby was a diabetic who's doctor told her she couldn't have children and did anyway. She becomes ill in the movie and dies. We never really now exactly what happens. We never see Shelby test her blood sugar, take insulin, eat a good diet, or have any conversations with her doctors about how to care for herself. But at 15 I didn't know how to answer Andy's question. Movies like Steel Magnolias and carelessly surfing the Internet to get answers just led me to more fear. A few years later I was being interviewed for an article about stem cell research and when the photographer came to my house she was shocked that I didn't look "sick." She too had fears about Diabetes and obviously didn't know what to expect.
Over the years I have overcome my own fears and try not to let every movie, article, and news report throw me off my game. It isn't always easy and doubt, guilt, and that fear will sometimes creep in. At age 29 I was blessed with a great pregnancy and a healthy happy daughter. Of course I still have fears. I hope to GOD she never has to deal with this...



But if I let that fear overwhelm me than I could never enjoy this...



So I'm going to approach this new Autism information the same way. I'm beyond excited about this next baby. I was a second child born less than two years after my sister and I'm pretty happy with how I turned out; diabetes and all. Whatever lies ahead for baby number two, he or she will be loved.
Here's a sneek peek :)




This post brought to you by...
The best place to get diabetes information
And
A great Autism resource

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